Rabbits and other sources of food
by Ayla Pascal
Summary: The team is trapped on an uninhabited planet. McKay/Sheppard preslash


Author notes: Thank you to urania_2006 and lyndasty for betaing!

**Rabbits and other sources of food on uninhabited planets**

_Day One_

The day had not begun well and for Rodney McKay it was getting progressively worse.

"What do you mean we can't get off this planet?" he said, spluttering. "Let me try. You're probably doing it wrong."

Ronon glared at him. "I grew up travelling through the Ring of the Ancestors. How long have you been through the gate?"

Rodney refused to answer as he went over to punch in the coordinates of Atlantis. There was a hissing noise, but no connection. He knelt down and opened up the DHD. Behind him, the team sat down and began chatting away. Typical, he thought, they relax while I fix the problem and get us home safe and sound.

"Of course I don't need any help," he called out over his shoulder. "I'm perfectly fine here. I'm sure I'll have it done, all by myself, in no time."

"We trust you," Sheppard answered.

Rodney gritted his teeth and made himself continue working.

_Day Two_

"They'll send somebody through soon," Sheppard said logically. "We've been overdue for about an hour. I'm sure at any minute, the gate will become active and we'll tell them to bring through a tech team to fix the problem McKay can't fix."

Rodney glared at him. "I'm telling you," he snapped, "there is absolutely no problem with the gate."

"No problem that _you_ can see," Sheppard pointed out. "That doesn't mean that there isn't a problem. There's obviously a problem. We can't dial it!"

Teyla held up a hand before Rodney could answer. "There is no point in arguing," she said softly. "I am sure John is right and the gate will activate soon. Then we will at least have more supplies to fix the gate with. And some food."

Rodney snorted. Obviously they weren't going to believe him that the gate was fine. "Food would be nice," he admitted grudgingly. They were down to their last ration of coffee. The typical expedition packs just didn't have enough rations of that important food substance!

_Day Three_

Woolsey was getting worried. Sheppard's team was due back over a day ago and there was no word from them. This, in and of itself, wasn't that unusual, but what was unusual was that they were unable to establish a connection with the world the team had visited.

The _Daedalus_ would be back within the week, he reassured himself. They could check on the team. It had been a routine mission. There was probably some minor glitch with the gate. Nothing to panic about.

With a sigh, he flipped through the Rulebook given to him by the IOA for the hundredth time. It was utterly, completely useless.

_Day Five_

They were running out of supplies. Not just coffee, but basic things like rations and water.

It was Sheppard who first suggested that they leave the gate and try to forage for food and find a river that they could fill their water bottles at.

"I could catch a rabbit if I see one," Ronon offered.

Rodney wrinkled his nose. "And give us all food poisoning?" he exclaimed, horrified that Ronon would even think of something like that.

"Would you rather starve?" Sheppard asked.

Rodney frowned. "Actually, on second thought, can you catch it now? I'm hungry. I've been hungry for a while. All that working on the gate and all."

Ronon snorted. "Catch your own rabbit."

_Day Eight_

They had decided to camp near the Ancient device they had found on their first day. Sheppard figured that there was no point in staying near the gate given that it was readily apparent that either Atlantis couldn't dial through or wasn't going to come. "When the Daedalus comes, they can always scan for us."

Privately Rodney agreed with him, but he still scowled.

_Day Ten_

Rodney had taken to writing a journal. Every time he came up with a new idea to get off the planet, or every time they came across anything new, he wrote it down. Somehow most of the entries still ended up along the lines of:

_Planet disgusting. Insects everywhere. Foraging for food was unpleasant. Wish Sheppard would keep his chipper words and his annoying grin to himself. _

Rodney couldn't help but feel personally responsible for their mess. None of the team had said it, but he knew that he was almost invariably the one who got them out of their messes. He had tried everything. He had thought of every possibility. The problem is they hadn't done anything on the planet. They hadn't fiddled with any Ancient devices. In fact, the only one they had found seemed to be not working except for the lights in the chamber. He couldn't even figure out what that device was for.

Sheppard kept on asking if he was okay and Rodney knew he was being tetchy and snapping back, but he couldn't help it. Damn it, he should be able to get them off this planet!

_Day Eleven_

Caldwell was immensely frustrated. Not only did he have to cut the week long holiday he and his crew were supposed to have on Earth short, he also had to push the hyperdrive beyond maximum to make the trip back in less than ten days. As Kavanagh continued to tell him daily, "It'll break any minute. And nobody will be able to fix it."

Still, Caldwell could have dealt with those things. He could have sworn that he spent most of his time chasing after Sheppard and his team, getting them out of scrapes. It was normal.

But, as Caldwell stared out the bridge window at the location that he had been given, he resisted the urge to throw something at Kavanagh who was lurking around. "Patch me through to Atlantis," he ordered.

Woolsey's face appeared on the screen almost immediately, looking worried. "So do you have them?" he demanded.

"They're not here," Caldwell said.

"Don't be ridiculous," Woolsey snapped, his face turning red. "We gave you the right co-ordinates..."

"There is no planet here," Caldwell interrupted.

There was a huge commotion on the other end. Caldwell could see people whispering to themselves open-mouthed behind Woolsey.

"What?" Woolsey exclaimed. "That's impossible!"

_Day Fifteen_

John was beginning to wish that he had brought lemons on this expedition. In fact, he decided, he was going to bring lemons on all expeditions from now on.

The problem with this planet was that there were no threats, no monsters, no horrible weather, no giant insects, a reasonable supply of rabbits, nuts and berries, drinkable water, no volcanos, no tornados… in other words, nothing life-threatening for Rodney McKay.

John watched as his friend moped and fretted. He knew that it wasn't McKay's fault that they couldn't get off the planet, but he couldn't help but ask every day whether McKay had found anything new.

Neither Teyla nor Ronon seemed visibly concerned about their fate, but John knew that they were worried as well. He watched as they spent the days battling together in their mini-arena. John tried to join them a few times, but he soon realised that both Teyla and Ronon were going easy on him every time they battled on Atlantis.

So John resigned himself to spending his days watching McKay work and write in his little book.

_Day Twenty_

Rodney could have sworn that Sheppard was watching him. Every time he looked over, he saw the other man quickly look away. At first, he tried to ignore it, and he would have succeeded if it weren't for the fact they were stuck on some godforsaken planet without even a laptop. They had a portable scanner and life signs detector, but it wasn't as though he could do anything interesting with those. The portable scanner refused to register the Ancient device and there were no other human life signs on the planet.

"You would have no power for it by now anyway," Teyla pointed out the first time he mentioned this.

Rodney still couldn't help wishing for a laptop. Or more MREs. They had finished their entire supply of MREs within the first ten days, and that was with rationing. He was just so _bored_.

And the fact that Sheppard seemed to be spying on him was the last straw.

_Day Twenty One_

Much to John's amusement, McKay seemed more and more paranoid by the day. The first few days, McKay seemed to pretend to be busy, mostly by fiddling around with the portable scanner and waving the portable life signs detector around. That was despite the fact neither of them showed anything even remotely interesting.

But by the fifteenth day, McKay had taken to pacing around. He had ended up annoying Teyla and Ronon so much that they moved their exercise ground further away from the main campsite.

"We're never going to get out of here," McKay muttered.

"I can hear you," John called out and was rewarded with a glare. "You're supposed to be the genius. Why don't you figure out a way out?"

"Of course I'm a genius," McKay snapped. "I also have a very good idea of what impossible means. And guess what? It's impossible to get off this planet. We've tried _everything_! We don't even know what's wrong! And the Daedalus should have been here by now anyway, but they're not. We're trapped. Face it. Sooner or later, we'll end up eating each other."

"Not unless the supply of rabbits runs out," Ronon said with a serious face.

John stared at him. He could never tell when Ronon was being serious or joking, but he suspected the latter.

It was readily apparent that McKay couldn't tell the difference either. "I'm sick of fucking rabbits!"

It was at that point John realised that McKay was on the verge of snapping. McKay rarely swore and never with such vitriol.

"Come on, Rodney," he said, with a small inward sigh. "Let's go for a walk. Maybe to the Ancient site. Let's see if we can figure it out with fresh eyes."

"What?" Rodney snapped. "Because the fifty other fucking times didn't work and somehow the fifty-first shot will be some kind of miracle?" But he still followed as John left the clearing.

_Day Thirty_

Woolsey was feeling progressively worse. Their monthly report had nothing new to add on the status of Sheppard and his team. They had sent out search parties to every planet they could think of but nobody had seen the team.

The IOA was beginning to whisper about funerals and choosing a new lead team for the Atlantis expedition.

"No," Woolsey had said adamantly the first time they mentioned it, but now he wasn't so sure. The mood around Atlantis was sombre. He couldn't remember the last time Keller laughed. Lorne glared at him every time he passed as if somehow Woolsey was personally responsible for this disaster. Perhaps funerals would give them all closure?

"Don't you dare," Lorne said quietly when Woolsey broached the idea with him. "Sheppard isn't dead. We have no idea what happened. The planet just disappeared. It might reappear. I'm not taking over military command of Atlantis. I'm simply waiting until Sheppard comes back."

Woolsey bit his lip. "I know how you feel about the team. I care about them too."

Lorne looked sceptical.

Woolsey allowed himself a wry smile. "I know we haven't always been on the best of terms. I know none of you wanted me here as the leader of the expedition. But I do have the best interests of everybody at heart. But you realise that we can't just wait forever. We can't keep on dedicating time and resources we could use to fight the Wraith on looking for the team." From the look on Lorne's face, Woolsey knew that the other man understood. But he still said, "It's only been a month. Give it a bit longer."

Woolsey nodded. He would give it longer. But he wasn't sure how much longer he could leave Atlantis's operations on pause.

_Day Thirty Three_

Sheppard had stopped watching him, and Rodney somehow felt that this was worse. He kept on looking over, expecting to see the sheepish look on the other man's face, but it simply wasn't there. Instead Sheppard seemed to be staring off into the distance with this dreamy expression on his face.

Rodney felt unreasonably jealous of whoever Sheppard was thinking of that gave him such a satisfied smile.

_Day Thirty Eight_

John threw another rock on the river and sighed. As much as he tried to convince himself otherwise, he wasn't just thinking of McKay because the other man was their best way off this planet. There was something about McKay. Something about the quirky half smile he sometimes had on his face. Something about the angry rants he went on when he was sure, so positive that the world was stupid and that he alone was right. Something about the intense look on his face when he was concentrating on an unsolvable problem.

Something like the look that was currently on McKay's face.

Suddenly McKay looked up and caught his gaze and John shivered. McKay turned away and coughed awkwardly. "Nothing new today," McKay said.

_Day Forty Five_

They had brought in Carter from Earth but even she was stumped. "It's like they just vanished," she said, perplexed.

"Well we know that!" Lorne said angrily.

She sighed and rubbed her nose. "I'm sorry guys. I really don't know what happened to them. Maybe the entire planet was transferred somewhere else and hence cut off from the gate system. That's my best bet. But there's no residual energy signature in the vicinity of where the planet was. It's like it was never there."

"Thanks anyway," Woolsey said wearily, resting his head in his hands as he leaned on the table.

Carter frowned. "It's almost like… that time Jack told me that he and Teal'c were caught in a time loop. Certain planets were not contactable. But I'm sure Rodney would have never turned on anything complicated like that."

_Day Fifty_

They were just sitting together. Quietly. Ronon and Teyla had wandered off somewhere. Rodney had tried to crack a joke about how those two seemed to be getting closer and closer and what was going to happen once they went back to Atlantis, but Sheppard just shrugged.

"Isn't it funny," Sheppard said. "We never do this unless there's something wrong."

Rodney nodded. "It's nice."

Sheppard turned and looked at him. "What happens if we never get off this planet?"

Rodney thought he knew what the Sheppard meant by that. "I guess I'll learn how to enjoy eating rabbits then."

Sheppard gave him a huge smile, the kind of huge charming smile he generally reserved for gorgeous alien girls, and McKay couldn't help but realise that it was a lot less annoying when directed towards him.

He smiled back.

_Day Fifty Nine_

"What if we accidentally set something off?" Rodney mused as he and Sheppard sat by the river. Sheppard was trying to fish with something they had jerry-rigged together with no luck so far.

"You mean, on the very first day?"

Rodney nodded. "Remember how everything lit up when you entered the facility? Maybe that set … something off."

Sheppard stared at him. "And how does that help us, exactly?"

Rodney slumped. "I'm not sure," he admitted. "It was just a thought."

_Day Sixty Five_

Ronon was getting beyond frustrated. They had been on this planet for over two months now. Sure he was getting a remarkable amount of exercise, but even he was sick of having to catch and cook his own food. The years he had spent on Atlantis had made him soft, he realised.

"What do you think they are talking about?" Teyla said quietly, gesturing towards Sheppard and McKay.

"I don't know," Ronon growled. "But it'd better be some super plan on how to get off this damned planet."

They walked over to where the other two were sitting. Sheppard waved and McKay just looked mutinous.

"Do you have any new ideas?" Teyla asked. "I … miss Atlantis." A brief sad look flickered across her face.

Ronon just nodded. He knew how much Teyla missed her baby.

McKay stood up. "We think that we triggered something accidentally on the first day, but I haven't been able to fix it or un-trigger it."

Ronon stared at him. "So why don't we blow it up?"

"Oh yes," McKay said sarcastically. "If we don't know what to do, then we blow it up. That's such a brilliant plan."

"Why is it a bad plan then?" Ronon countered. "You don't seem to have any better ones. Do you want to spend the rest of your life here?"

He noticed that McKay hesitated before responding. "We don't know what kinds of fail-safe devices the Ancients installed. Blowing it up could set off a series of chain reactions. It could do _anything_."

"Or it could stop whatever the hell is causing the gate to malfunction, and stop people from Atlantis from coming to get us." Ronon shrugged. "I say go for it."

"I have to agree," Teyla said, after a pause.

Sheppard was silent.

_Day Seventy_

Caldwell thought this plan of Woolsey's was the most ridiculous to date. His crew and the Daedalus was simply hovering around the point where Woolsey said the planet was originally. Waiting.

When he had complained, Woolsey had simply spread his hands. "Give it another week," Woolsey had said. "Then… then we declare them missing in action."

Caldwell had agreed, reluctantly. He wasn't any more eager to declare Sheppard and his team dead than Woolsey was, but he was sick of putting everything on hold for them.

Just one more week, he told himself.

_Day Seventy Seven_

Rodney had insisted that they exhaust all possible other options – ridiculous or not – before they blow up the Ancient device. It was about the point where their long-range communications device built out of radios and tin cans had failed to work, that Rodney had finally given in.

"Three, two, one…" Sheppard pressed the trigger. The explosion rocked through them.

Ronon gave a pointed look at Rodney. "See? We didn't die. There was no fail-safe."

Rodney stood up and stretched his legs. "Should we go and try the gate now?" he said, ignoring Ronon.

-

"What the fuck?" Kavanagh couldn't believe his eyes as he was staring out the bridge window. One minute, there was no planet, and then the next minute, this planet had just appeared, seemingly out of thin air.

"What is it now?" Caldwell said irritably.

Kavanagh just pointed out the window.

-

There was a bright flash of light and the next minute, Sheppard's team of found themselves on the bridge of the Daedalus.

Rodney was open-mouthed with shock.

_Day Eighty_

They were all sitting around the briefing room at Atlantis. Woolsey was there as well, looking very relieved.

"I'm glad I didn't have to declare everybody here MIA," he declared. "So does anybody know what happened?"

"My best guess," Rodney said, "is that Sheppard somehow activated--"

"Accidentally!" Sheppard interrupted.

"—accidentally activated, then," Rodney continued, annoyance visible, "the Ancient device and then it somehow put us and everything else on the planet out of phase with the rest of the universe. That's why we couldn't dial the DHD and nobody could find the planet or dial it. And then, when we came up with the idea—"

"My idea," Ronon said.

"—the idiotic idea to blow up the Ancient device, it must have put us back in phase with the rest of the universe."

Woolsey blinked. It all sounded rather bizarre and improbable to him, but then again, so did most mission briefings with this team. "Okay, then, everybody, mission reports are due to me by Monday."

-

That night, Sheppard found himself unable to sleep. It was far too soft on his bed and he wasn't used to the smell of the ocean. He wandered out into the corridor and towards a balcony, when he came across McKay.

"Hi," McKay said awkwardly. "Want to grab a bite to eat?"

Sheppard smiled.

They walked off together.


End file.
